I got my laptop in the mail today. I’ll post a picture of it later, it’s really sweet. It would be nice to care. But I don’t, because I have other things to worry about. This post is going to be long and it is just going to be me being really sad and whiny.
I have this kitten, Sweet Pea, and it is the most adorable thing in the history of ever. I’ve only gotten to know her for five weeks and she’s already going to be taken from me. The other two kittens of the litter passed away- one when it was born and the other a few weeks ago. Sweet Pea has always been so small. I can fit her in the palm of my hand. Sweet Pea is Gizmo’s kitten, and was born two days before Lily’s kittens but she is about half the size.
The kittens are just learning how to climb up and down the steps on the porch, and it took Sweet Pea a bit longer to be able to because of how tiny she is. They love sleeping in my mom’s flower bed beneath her rose bushes. I walked down the steps so I could bring Sweet Pea on the porch because the other kittens were already up there. Sweet Pea is very calm-natured anyway so I didn’t think anything of it that she let me pick her up with no problem. That’s how she’s always been. When I sat her down, though, she couldn’t walk. She struggled so much and would fall over and start meowing relentlessly. It was obvious how frustrated she was. I immediately started crying my eyes out- I knew there was something wrong. My dad was absolutely no help- “I was waiting for this, she’s so small, I’m surprised she’s made it this long”, etc. etc. I started crying even harder.
I was holding her and crying when she started biting at my finger, so I know that meant she was hungry. I fed her milk from a dropper. I know that cow’s milk is a no-no for kittens, but I really had no other choice at the time being. I watered it down and I really just wanted to give her something to give her a little bit of strength. She perked up pretty instantly. Though she still couldn’t walk, she was able to stand up. Later that night I saw her mother nursing her so I thought she wasn’t sick… I’ve seen the way that cats act around other cats when they’re sick. If she were sick, Gizmo wouldn’t have let her nurse or even be around the other kittens.
I slept not a wink last night. I couldn’t. I had a stomach ache, heartburn, I was just really stressed out and upset. My mom woke me up this morning to show me how she was doing. I knew that was good. My mom does some strange things, but she wouldn’t want to show me Sweet Pea being dead. My dad said he woke up this morning expecting to find her dead but she was running around and playing all morning.
When I woke up for the second time at about 10:30 AM, I went to check on her. She was sleeping. No big deal. But when I noticed a few hours later that she was still laying there, I tried to pick her up. She would scream like she was in awful pain. Now none of the cats will get around her, so I know there is something wrong. She’s been going downhill all day.
She tries to meow and nothing comes out. I’ve forced her to drink water from a dropper to keep her hydrated at least, because neither Gizmo nor Lily are nursing her. I don’t want to give her any more cow’s milk (even though I’m sure she’s hungry) because I can’t risk her getting diarrhea. I’ve given her antibiotics that I got from the vet for another cat- but it’s just amoxicillin which can be used for basically anything. My parents are out right now getting her some KMR (Kitten Milk Replacement) or goat milk, depending on what they can find. I have BEGGED my parents to take her to the vet but they’re convinced that they won’t be able to do anything. I’m not sure what makes them think they know. It’s so frustrating. They’re upset but only because I’m upset, and that honestly pisses me off a little. I could really not care less how I’m feeling right now, I’m just worried about Sweet Pea. I’m hoping for the best and expecting the worst at this point but thinking that she is suffering or in pain the least little bit kills me. I can’t even stand to think that she is uncomfortable. It’s awful. It doesn’t seem fair that something so little and defenseless should be allowed to have this sort of thing happen to them when there are murderers walking around taking up all kinds of space.
I actually had the thought, “I wish it were one of the others instead of her” and I guess that’s horrible. Ideally nothing horrible would ever be able to happen. I do know that if I saw awful things happening daily in a world that I supposedly created, I wouldn’t stand around and do nothing like an asshole.
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