Obviously I'm not going to do this thirty days thing anymore!
I'm thinking about getting a Tumblr... but...
I don't know. I already have this.
It's like an ongoing contest with me.
How many places can I write my crap!?
I already have like three or four blogs and like five paper journals.
RAGH.

Day seventeen

Favorite memories.

This is going to be really hard for me. I'll just do what Raeann did and do some separate ones for Josh and for friends.

I'm just really fond of thinking about our first date. I can remember every single detail. I was so surprised that he kissed me because everyone told me I'd be lucky if he held my hand. I was hugging him, he kissed the top of my head... I went to kiss his cheek but he moved his head really fast and kissed me on the lips. I got so shy, I had to bury my face into his chest so that he couldn't see how much I was blushing.
The first time I went to his house was awesome. We cuddled the whole time and watched Jackass and a bunch of band DVDs, which is really closely related to what we still do now.
Of course, other things that you don't want to know about.
I just enjoy doing everything with him. I remember when I first started going places with JUST him in his car... I immediately just wanted to go everywhere with him. I feel so... I don't know, cozy?, when it's just us eating out, in his car, walking through Wal-Mart, walking through the mall, doing anything together.

With friends... oh my goodness. When it was just common knowledge that we'd all be at the movies Friday night, when we'd walk to the gas station in front of the cinema to get energy drinks or because there was nothing better to do. When we'd go to every single show at Brandywine and walk to Dairy Queen, Food Fair... all of the shows elsewhere, where I got to know so many people. Even a lot of memories at school, just seeing people every day, knowing people were happy to see me. The times Raeann and I would go to the movies, or when she would spend the night with me. Actually meeting new friends. Feeling infinite. When Sarah, Nate, Justin, and I were at that Halloween party and we accidentally drank Moonshine. When I went to Justin's house with Brandon and Nate and we all walked to my house at night because I think I broke Justin's mom's car. That show at the fairgrounds that lasted for like 12 hours and I was sweaty, dirty, and hungry and I didn't care. Having more than one guy like me. That was kind of fun. Hah. When Sarah and I skipped school to go to concerts- Gigantour with In Flames, Children of Bodom and Megadeth, and then Foreigner, Styx, and Def Leppard. Just everything.

Someone from my childhood.
When I think of my childhood, most of the memories I have are with one person. I should probably miss her. I don't, really... which I suppose is a little sad or a little mean, I don't know. Anyway, Stephanie Harris was my best friend. She was at my house basically every day. Either that or I was at hers. She used to annoy the crap out of me, and we would fight if we were together longer than thirty minutes but it kind of made up for not having a sibling. We probably became best friends when I was 4 or so, and we lost touch altogether when I was 14 I guess. We didn't have a fight or anything, we just drifted apart like I have with everyone else. We've always been totally different people, I have no idea how we even got along as well as we did.

Day sixteen

I've been slacking on this for the past few days for some reason.

 First kiss.
I don't know, I kind of wish I didn't have to describe this one. I kind of regret that it happened just because I wish it had been with Josh now... I was his first kiss and everything, so it would have been sweet if he were mine, too.

Anyhow, it took place on I think July 22, 2007 ? when I was dating... my "ex boyfriend". Only, I don't know. We had just went to the fair... It was our second "date", we had been dating for like... eleven days. And back then, EVERYBODY was driven around by their parents, it wasn't just me so it wasn't embarrassing. :) My dad was driving us home. He kept trying to kiss me in the backseat of the car on the way home, but wouldn't for some reason. So I was like, "Oh my God", and I just did it. Haha I was like "Wtf what if he did not even want me to do that"... but he did it like a billion times after that so my fears were lifted. The only details I'm going to bother with are that he obviously didn't shave his face that day and he smelled like pina coladas. I must have been really bad at it though, because he broke up with me ten minutes later. lawl.

Someone that's not in my state/country.
This one makes it obvious that this whole 30 days thing is meant more for pictures than descriptions. I don't even want to do this one. :( Haha I'm sick of this already. :P

Day fifteen

Your dreams in great detail.
I already did this one :( ah, two conflicting 30 days thingies, you are supposed to have totally different questions!

The person you miss the most.
I've started talking to Robert pretty regularly again, and it made me realize that I really, really miss him. He was my best friend for, like, three years. He knew everything about me and I talked to him about everything. We had so much fun together and he made me laugh until I almost squirted a little.

Day fourteen

What I wore today in great detail.
I really can't remember what I wore three days ago :/ so I'll just tell you what I wore today!
What I wore today... is the exact same thing I was wearing last time I told you what I was wearing in great detail. I don't know if that's weird or disgusting.


Someone you've drifted away from.
EVERYONE.
K, so now that this post is over with...

Day thirteen + rant.

RANT! I just feel like being obnoxious for the sake of being obnoxious is useless, if you aren't joking. I just think it is a lost cause if you "just say what's on your mind" only because you know you can get away with it. People aren't going to be mean to you and I don't think I need to say why. It's an awful excuse but you always milk it for what it's worth, and it is annoying to see people soooo attached to your ass just because of that. What an awful way to keep dragging out your fifteen minutes of fame. This is just really bugging me. I feel like a horrible person for thinking this... like REALLY awful, and my reason for feeling guilty is everyone else's reason for being nice. But it gets on my nerves and "I'm just saying everything I think"!

ANYHOW. I have picked out the tattoos that I want. That brings the total to 7 I believe.

 This week in great detail.
Not much happened this week at all. It mostly consisted of me waiting for next week. So I doubt that I can even remember a lot of it. I'm going to have to look in my journal to see if those days were even interesting enough for me to write anything about.
-Monday- My mom invited my cousin Hannah to come over, which happens often when it is sunny. So that she can swim, in our pool, when she has her own pool. I get really mad when my mom wakes me up to go to my grandma's when it storms, but... I really am hoping that it storms every day for the rest of the summer just for this reason. So, that day I: got really annoyed, hid all of our food so that my cousin would not eat it all (literally), picked blackberries, swam for like five minutes because that's about as much as I could take.
-Tuesday- Can't remember. I had to choose between watching The Bad Girls Club and Teen Mom, so that was about the most conflict I had all week.
-Wednesday- I don't remember Wednesday. I think the cardinal flew the coop, if you know what I mean. What I mean is that I started my period.
-Thursday- I don't remember Thursday either. Except that I got woken up by my mom with full force to go to my grandma's due to storms that may or may not have even happened.
-Friday- I went to Bingo and I didn't win anything.
-Saturday- I went to Bingo and I didn't win anything. Oh, and I found Lily- I don't even know where she had been, the sneak.
-Sunday- I stayed in my room literally ALL day. I crocheted and read, watched some movie on Lifetime about an Amish school shooting.
So that's my week "in great detail"- or as much detail as I can remember.

Someone you wish could forgive you.
I really can't think of anything. This always sounds really arrogant but I can't think of anything that I should apologize for. If I need to do it, I do it, and I always get forgiven. So there's nothing that comes to mind. I suppose that's better than if I were able to type out a real answer, though.

Day twelve

What's in my bag.
In one of the front pockets is this: 14 gum wrappers, one free sausage biscuit coupon for Burger King, two Twilight game pieces for Burger King, two bobby pins.

In the other front pocket is this: Pack of Cepacol sore throat/cough drops, Gatti's buffet punch card (I get a free buffet next time I go!), a Germ-X wipe, movie stubs for Grown Ups, Despicable Me, Toy Story 3, and Dinner for Schmucks. A box that had Palladio rice paper face blotting tissues, an old used rice paper face blotting tissue (ew), yet another Twilight BK game piece, one bobby pin, fourteen cents, and a fortune cookie fortune that says "Your wisdom will find a way."

In the inside pocket is this: Strawberry jumbo Push Pop and a mini bottle of Gold Bond Ultimate Healing lotion.

I have a little black zippered pouch that I keep my feminine things in, among... other things.

My wallet: It is zebra striped, with two keys (for my front door and the dead bolt), a Sally's beauty club card, Speedy rewards card, heart keychain, blue clip Class of 2009 keychain, beanie froggie that Andi Sue bought me, a TUK keychain, a keychain that has half a heart with a girl on it (Josh has the other half), and an Old Navy flip-flop keychain.
Inside my wallet (this is going to take a while, but the 30 Days thing said "great detail"): 
- In an outside zippered pocket, there are movie ticket stubs for: Oceans, Bruno, Saw VI, Shutter Island, Date Night, Kick Ass, Alice in Wonderland, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Death at a Funeral. There are tons of fortune cookie fortunes that say these things: "You are going to take a vacation", "Guard yourself against evil temptations", "A closed mind is like a closed book; just like a block of wood", "A pleasant surprise is in store for you", "Luck is coming for you", "All the news you receive will be positive and uplifting", "Your ingenuity and imagination will get results", "The only good is knowledge and the only evil ignorance", "Cooperate with those who have both know-how and integrity", "A smooth long journey! Great expectations", "You will become more and more wealthy", and "No job is so simple that it cannot be done wrong".
-There's a pencil on the inside, my driver's license, a library card, my debit card, Sally's beauty card, two bobby pins, Speedy Rewards receipt, and three pictures of my cousins Samantha and David. Six dollars, several receipts, and a few coupons.
-Rewards cards: Two for McDonald's McCafe, Hot Topic, A GattiTown card that still has like $10 on it and I have to use it within a year, ASPCA member card, Blizzard of the Month Club card, Wal-Mart card that has like $1 on it, Maurice's, and a Product Replacement plan card.
And then I have $5.03 in change.

Back to my purse!  Product Replacement plan pamphlet thing, baggie with more money in it, a mini brush, a random pink plastic rosary, empty Tylenol bottle, Wal-Mart receipt, We're Rolling Pretzel Company coupon, unchewed piece of Stride gum which I just put into my mouth, k now there's a gum wrapper in there, Nectarine Mint bath and body works hand sanitizer, more hand sanitizer- Japanese Cherry Blossom, empty pack of Orbit Mist gum, Stride gum pack with five pieces of gum inside which I forgot about FREAKIN' SWEET, more bobby pins and gum wrappers, 53 more cents, and a random purple yarn bracelet with a cat charm.

DONE.

The person who hurt me the most-
I'm not doing the "who I hate" thing, because I don't really hate anyone.
I'm not even going to go over the person who hurt me the most because I think we all know it's Josh.

Day eleven

Since I've already described "my siblings", there's only one of these to do today.

Someone deceased I wish I could talk to.
This one is really easy if I don't think about it. The first person who popped into my mind is my uncle Dick. I would ask questions- I would ask how aunt Max, aunt Ruby, etc. etc. are. I'd want to know how everyone else is doing that I never got to meet just so I could pass on the news to my family. I would have to assume that the afterlife is real, but I would ask what it's like and if anyone has actually been right about it this entire time. I'd apologize for everyone else. The way so many people acted while he was in the hospital and at his funeral home. I would apologize for how my family fought, and I would apologize for his son not showing up at his funeral. I would apologize for not saying more to him the day that I went to visit him in the hospital. I couldn't think of anything to say. I just kept repeating in my head, "don't talk about his condition, don't talk about his condition"- I was afraid to even ask how he was doing. The most I said I think was "you're welcome" when he thanked me for coming to see him. What a jerk thing to say. I also wish that I had told him he was my favorite great uncle. I never told him that. A lot of things can go unsaid and still be known but I'm almost positive he had no idea. He wasn't even blood-relation but he definitely was my favorite. We always think that there's "some other time" but there isn't- not always. By the time we realize we're too late, we're already beating ourselves up about it.

Anyhow, I had a dream about him a few days after he passed away. I dreamed that I was in a room with a bunch of people and I couldn't see most of their faces but I assumed they were my family. There was a round table, and the only two people whose faces I could see were Dick and my papaw. They were laughing, talking, joking, like normal. They were playing cards and I assumed Dick was smoking because there was smoke all around him (he died of lung cancer). I looked at my Dad and said, "He looks so much better". I suppose Dick overheard. He looked up and said, "I'm okay". The dream was creepy but comforting.