Day eleven

Since I've already described "my siblings", there's only one of these to do today.

Someone deceased I wish I could talk to.
This one is really easy if I don't think about it. The first person who popped into my mind is my uncle Dick. I would ask questions- I would ask how aunt Max, aunt Ruby, etc. etc. are. I'd want to know how everyone else is doing that I never got to meet just so I could pass on the news to my family. I would have to assume that the afterlife is real, but I would ask what it's like and if anyone has actually been right about it this entire time. I'd apologize for everyone else. The way so many people acted while he was in the hospital and at his funeral home. I would apologize for how my family fought, and I would apologize for his son not showing up at his funeral. I would apologize for not saying more to him the day that I went to visit him in the hospital. I couldn't think of anything to say. I just kept repeating in my head, "don't talk about his condition, don't talk about his condition"- I was afraid to even ask how he was doing. The most I said I think was "you're welcome" when he thanked me for coming to see him. What a jerk thing to say. I also wish that I had told him he was my favorite great uncle. I never told him that. A lot of things can go unsaid and still be known but I'm almost positive he had no idea. He wasn't even blood-relation but he definitely was my favorite. We always think that there's "some other time" but there isn't- not always. By the time we realize we're too late, we're already beating ourselves up about it.

Anyhow, I had a dream about him a few days after he passed away. I dreamed that I was in a room with a bunch of people and I couldn't see most of their faces but I assumed they were my family. There was a round table, and the only two people whose faces I could see were Dick and my papaw. They were laughing, talking, joking, like normal. They were playing cards and I assumed Dick was smoking because there was smoke all around him (he died of lung cancer). I looked at my Dad and said, "He looks so much better". I suppose Dick overheard. He looked up and said, "I'm okay". The dream was creepy but comforting.