A friend of mine decided on Saturday that 2 AM is actually a really appropriate time to call me.
At first I was kind of mad because I knew he was drunk.
I thought he just wanted to talk about stupid things like he does when he's sober, even.
I was right again.
I was a little annoyed, I'm not gunna lie about it.
Then he actually started saying that he has no idea why he is the way that he is now.
It relieved me a little, actually.
And when he said that the reason he called me was because he feels like I'm the only person who even cares anymore, it just made me sad. It made me sad because we're not that close anymore. I DO care, I care about all of my friends, even the ones I barely talk to now. When he said that, it made me feel not-so-lonely, but it made me feel like he really must be.

There's not much of a point to this.
Except that when worse comes to worse, you really do know who's there for you.

Two whole years!

Today makes two years that Josh and I have been together.
It's hard to believe because it feels like our first day was yesterday.
It already feels like we've been together for forever, so in that aspect it's pretty easy to believe.
I don't have much to say on the subject, as I'm saving all my sap for him specifically.
But after everything that we've been through, I can't say I regret any of it.

I am utterly disgusted.

So, a video was recently released of a cockfight taking place in Kentucky and a state trooper was present, IN UNIFORM, and didn't do a damn thing about it. People from other states come here to do it because it's only considered a misdemeanor.

How can someone actually be entertained by this? If you actually *enjoy* watching animals rip other animals apart, then there is something that you're mentally lacking.

I really wish that animal cruelty resulted in harsher punishment.
It isn't even a felony in Kentucky.
Anyone caught in the act is given monetary fines and sent on their way.
There aren't even restrictions placed on them for pet ownership!

Now, I'm not all Crazy-PETA-member, throwing red paint on the side of KFC or anything like that.
I actually can't stand PETA. They're annoying. I'm really an ASPCA person.
But things like this completely disgust me.
PEOPLE like this completely disgust me.

Lily Lily!

This is my Maine Coon cat Lily. She is a cat monstrosity.
By the time she stops growing (in 4-5 years), she should be around 40 inches long.
She showed up at my parents' workplace and they would feed her every day.
But she had no shelter, and everyone was worried about her, so they brought her home.
And ever since, out of my favorite things in the world, she is top three easily!
She was definitely meant to be mine!
I've had her for about 5 months now, but I didn't have a picture of her.
You can't see how big she is in this picture because there's nothing to compare her to, but she's already as big as all of my full-grown tomcats, and still growing. She isn't even a year old yet. She won't be for a few more months.

A twang don't ditermen mah entelleginss!

I am a stand-still with my weight loss and I am beginning to get really frustrated.
It's not surprising though, and I really need to remember that I'm not doing this to just lose 20 pounds by the time it becomes bathing-suit weather. As long as I keep in mind how great I felt the last time I did it, I can stick to it.
I picked up some green tea supplements a while ago to help curb my appetite and up my metabolism. They work for me, as long as I eat something right after I take them. Then I'm not hungry for forever. It's also really hard for me to exercise indoors. I picked up DDR and it has helped but I've been pretty busy with schoolwork lately, and I can go at DDR for, like, three hours at a time. The past few pretty days have been a godsend.

I promised myself that I would get the ball rolling when it comes to schoolwork.
I work hard but I always wait until the last minute. I had plenty of time to do a couple of essays and a whole unit in the past week, but I put it off. Every time I start to do it, I decide I just don't wanna. Now I've got to finish this essay on redefining the term "Appalachian Americans" (which is really hard to do, because when you think about it, we are really just a buncha rednecks), another on my progress as a writer, which shouldn't be horrible, and a whole unit. The Appalachian essay is what is holding me back. All of the results from the research I am doing put us in a negative light, and that is the exact opposite of what I am trying to do. Sheesh.

PSA

Kroger North is horrible. I think that all of the unfriendly creeps of the world (or at least Somerset, Kentucky) gathered around and plotted to go buy some soups on the same exact day. Which was today.
Everyone just cannot stand for you to be in the same aisle as them. It's ridiculous.
It does take them forever in the grocery store...they're such Suzie Slowasses.
However.
My grandfather is blind, my grandmother can barely walk, and they WILL get their popcorn-in-a-bag, and you WILL wait your turn. If they didn't have me around to bark "My BMI's still low enough for you to be able to go around me!" every single time I hear a "Siiiigh", I don't know what they would do.

Also, I protect my grandmother from potential rapists.
Or, I... potentially would. If I weren't so worried about protecting myself.
This guy... oh, heavens to Betsy.
I can't figure out why he doesn't just go to Seniorpeoplemeet.com or plentyoffish.com.
Kroger North IS his plentyoffish.com. And he is a sleazy bottom-feeder.
He was checking out every behind of every woman that walked past.
I stalled as long as I could, but when my grandma was ready to go, I tried to act cool, calm, and collective.
As soon as I saw his head turn, I basically pushed my nearly-crippled grandmother out of the way to stop him from checking me out too hard. She thought it was hilarious. I'm lucky my family has a great sense of humor.

We are a team.


I also bought...wait.
End PSA.
Okay, I also bought a cute shirt at Rose's.
But Rose's smells super weird so I had to wash it like three times.
It's frustrating that it doesn't fit right. I don't know what it is. I think it's too flouncy.
I bought some teal mascara also. So far it's not showing up very well, but I'll see what I can do.
But you don't care, so moving on...

WHY...do earphones wear out so easily!?
I bought these SkullCandy earbuds for like $9.99 from Sam Goody a few months ago and I am in love with them. One hundred percent.



It is likely that I will never find any like that at that price again...and that makes me sad.
My earphones always bite the dust really quickly.
They somehow commit speaker suicide while lying on my nightstand doing nothing until I use them.
I bought these today.

 

They're okay. I'm going to try to work my electrical tape wonders before I give up on my SkullCandys, though.

I've lost almost five pounds since I have been on this diet I started a couple of weeks ago.
That is not nearly as fast as I lost it last time... I was losing like a pound a day.
I'm sticking with it though, and it's better than nothing. I hope it speeds up, however... at this rate, it's going to take forever to lose the sixty-seventy pounds that I desperately need to.

I went to Bingo tonight. It is completely boring, and I guess I'm just desperate to get out of the house.
I only get out on Saturdays for class, and it's making me shack wacky.
I didn't win anything, obviously. I've been a countless number of times, and have only won twice.
When will I ever learn.

My cousin Samantha has started to take after me as far as getting obsessed with things goes.
Her newest obsession is Michael Jackson.
She talks about him constantly.
Yesterday she said, out of the blue, "I hope that God is taking care of Michael Jackson in heaven".
Then she saw a picture of Obama and was convinced it was M.J.
The reason it's so funny is because she's only four.
She is ridiculous, I don't know where she comes up with this stuff.
Love her.

I'm about to order this little number in, like, two seconds.
I have been meaning to for forever.
I have wanted it for the longest time, and I have no idea why I haven't yet.
When I saw that it is on clearance, I made up my mind that I must have it.



I'm so excited for it to come.
I always order random free catalogs just because I love getting snail mail.
Except for certain things. I will not join the Air Force. Sorry.

By the light of the setting sun, we see what we've become.

Over the past few hours, I've realized that I have multiple personality disorder. 
I have at least three personalities and they are all really angry. 

When I'm mad, I react differently every. single. time., and I never know which way it is going to be. 

My first personality, Hydrangea May, is a very balanced mix between a strong black woman and a dairy farmer. She talks kyarn, and she talks a lot of it...with twang. 

My second personality, which I refer to lovingly as Professor, suddenly develops a vocabulary for days. I think her technique is to try and confuse whoever she's mad at. She uses words like patronize and botulism.

My third personality I don't even have a name for, because she is just a nutjob.


All this talk of multiple personalities makes me remember how, over the summer, I developed this weird obsession with skirts and sundresses. It's very "multiple personality" because it's not me. At all. I thought I was being classy, but really, I just looked stupid. 
 


That is my fourth personality. Madame Going-From-One-Topic-to-Another-in-a-Jiff. 

Also, I'm horribly sad that there will be no more of the Tyra show after this season.
Oh, there's that Madame GFOTTAIAJ again.

First things first.
I watched Saw VI for the second time last night.
It wasn't quite as eventful. When Josh and I saw it in theaters, a girl had a seizure.
Not that I'm happy about her misfortune, but that's over-doing it a little, don't you think?
I was excited about the movie, too, but I wasn't going to seize about it.
I could have outdone her if I really wanted to. Believe that.

Last night when I watched it for the second time, I noticed that EDDIE WINSLOW is in it.
I will forever and always call him Eddie Winslow. Who the hell is Darius McCrary!?
Anyway. They killed off Eddie Winslow. And actually, my dad noticed it.
Except he called him "Theo". But no matter, I knew he was talkin' about good ole Eddie W.
I about crapped when they killed him. I knew the guy got killed in the movie, but when it's Eddie Winslow, we are playing in a whole different game. I did the Laura Winslow "Oh no you didn't" triple snap. Boy's lucky Harriett wasn't there.

Every time I watch those movies, I find myself thinking of what I could possibly be in "the game" for. That's how I form my values. If it'd get you a part in Saw, don't do it.
I thought about going into the medical field solely to be a douche lord to cancer patients, but then I said to myself, "Don't, Tarah. You know what happens to 'those kind'".
Even if I was, though... that old man wouldn't even have time to regret it.
Sure, I'd chop off my arm. I probably wouldn't even complain about it.
But then I'm coming after your cancer-ridden tail, buddy.
You're about to wish you'd made me chop off the other one.

Segue...segue.
Yeah, I don't have one.
But, welcome to conversations with me!

I've noticed a lot of lists on blogs.
And I've noticed a lot of things I'm obsessed with.
And so I birthed this little concoction.

My "Ten things I'm obsessed with" list.

1. Peel-and-eat-shrimp.

I die for any type of shrimp, really. These are the only things in the world that are more attractive when they're dead than when they are alive. I refuse to get any for my fish tank. I know I'd catch myself eyeballing them.

2. Everything Kardashian.
Love them. I can't even help it. I watched the show one day because there was nothing else on, and it just happened. You know me. Good ole Tarah, just gettin' obsessed with ten things, at least. I feel like I should have been born into their family. Only I'm really glad I wasn't, because then I'd have a slight crush on my brother.

3. Reality television.

My addiction with these happen accidentally. I always *accidentally* leave the television on channels, and then *accidentally* glance up, and then I *accidentally* look up that show's schedule on TVGuide.com.

4. Getting a miniature horse.

You really can't stop me forever, Mom. I won't ever trim my mini horse's mane, though.
When they have really long manes and tails, they look like My Little Ponys. Which brings me to my next obsession.

5. My Little Pony.

This one, like the others, was not my fault. When I was just a weebee Freshman in high school, I made the mistake of saying "I love Princess Sparkles like WHAAAAT?!?!?!?!" to a friend of mine. So that's what that's about. I don't even know how many of those things I have.

6. Orange tic-tacs.

This does not and will not ever have anything to do with Juno. I've always loved these things. It's encoded in my DNA to be obsessed with them. The "I love orange tic-tacs" gene is directly superior to and a little to the left of the "New episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians on Sundays at 10" gene.

7. Talk shows.

Tyra, Ellen, Steve Wilkos, Dr. Phil, Oprah, I watch 'em all.
When everyone else was a kid, watching cartoons, I was watching Ricki Lake, Maury, Sally Jesse, or those Jenny Jones episodes about transvestites and polygamy.

8. Taking in stray cats.

When you can be forced to watch CATS the musical three billion and two times in elementary school by your wackjob choir teacher and still want to basically collect the things, you know you've got it bad. It's limping around, convulsing, and it has the mange? I'll take it. It's a done deal. I can't turn one down! I have at least sixteen by now. If something happened to my Maine Coon cat Lily, I would have a stroke.

9. Neat pants.

I don't care about shirts half the time, it's the pants that count. I didn't earn the name "Cool Pants Tarah" by wearing good shirts.

10. Driving by Wal-Mart on warm days, because there's bound to be some puppies for sale that I can look at.

Note: I will also have a golden retriever eventually, among other things. (MOM).

The night is the hardest time to be alive.

I tried so hard for so long to stop fighting sleep like a tot.
I was going to bed at, like, 6 am and not waking up until 2 pm.
I hate sleeping that way, I always feel like I need twenty-two showers.
I finally started going to bed earlier...at 9 pm. I hate going to sleep so early, I always feel like something really interesting is going to happen and I'm going to miss it. Until I woke up at 5 am.
I'm not going to be 68 for a while, so that had to stop.
Now I'm back to square one. Lost that battle.

I like being awake when everyone is asleep. It makes me feel so mystical. I can keep my eyelids up and you can't, nananabooboo.

Just so you know, this is going to probably be the longest blog I have. And you most likely aren't going to finish it. But I love telling stories, and even better if someone wants to listen.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Josh and I celebrated our second together, but we don't have some incredible movie-worthy love story. We're just together. He makes me laugh and puts up with me, and he is the only person that I can sometimes want to backhand and hug at the same time, so I think we make a great couple. I bought him Zombieland (I think my V-day tradition is buying him zombie movies...I did that last year) and Wonka candy because the assorted heart-shaped boxes of chocolate are repulsive. He bought me acid-washed jeans and a Van Halen t-shirt. Way better than roses.

We're getting tattoos together when we can afford it. Which, for me, will be soon.
We don't want anyone's names tattooed on us. I think it's bad luck. But I do want something for us.
I'm glad he thinks that I am worth commemorating.
I'll post pictures when I get it done. I'd post them now, but I thought it up, so there aren't any.
I'm going to be one of those people who gets one tattoo and then can't stop.
That's the only reason I'm afraid to get one.
I don't want to be an 80 year old lady who gets a tattoo of whatever that ends up looking like a giraffe that has a little trouble with learning.
So I'll just be an 80 year old Janice Dickinson. Only I'll just get botox in the exact spots where I have tattoos. I don't want to be too obvious.

I have been crocheting like I won't even be allowed to next week.
I've done it a metric butt ton in the past few months.
I bought a lot of yarn and needles with the intent of learning to knit (because of my love for new hobbies). I couldn't figure it out. I watched Youtube videos, which really should be able to teach you just about anything, but I failed. Except I decided to have another go at it the other day. Turns out I was doing it right the whole time. I guess I just thought I could twiddle my purple needles a little bit and something magical would happen. I like crocheting a lot more I think.

I've been trying really hard to lose weight. I lost 28 pounds a couple of years ago and I never felt better. I gained fifty after that, though. I've been "trying" for a long time, but the past week is the only attempt at it where I've been really super motivated. I really think I have an addiction to food. I want it all the time, especially when I'm not hungry. When I'm super hungry, though, the thought of food makes me nauseous. My body has it all backwards and it ain't in my favor.

I really want it to be warm outside. Snow isn't helpful at all when you mostly take online classes.
Hiking (which is what I like to call it, but it's really just me wandering around in my backyard like I've never seen it before) is so fun to me, especially when I get so excited to listen to new songs I downloaded.
Which reminds me. If you haven't heard "Two of the Lucky Ones" by The Droge and Summers Blend, you should. That song is my second favorite part of Zombieland. The Van Halen references are the first.

I'm going to try hard not to talk about every single thing that occurs in my life, or every single thought that I have. It's going to be hard. The only blogging experience I have is my five-year-old-hasn't-been-used-in-three-years-Xanga.

 Oh, and for some reason, I'm really obsessed with getting a Kindle.

Bye!