Moms make the worst Facebook friends! Always misinterpreting your statuses and bugging you to write how much you love your mom and whatnot.

Anyway, I was petting my cat Gizzy today and discovered that she has a very firm tummy. So I ventured on her underside, and she has teats! SWOLLEN teats!

Ugh, her, Lily, crazy Siamese cross-eyed cat that walks around with her tongue hanging out and has the loudest meow I have ever heard in my life... they are ALL impregnated. There are so many kittens to be had! Josh wants one when they get here. My guess is he will get one of Lily's. She is super tame and so most likely her kittens will be also. Plus they will be so long-haired and multicolored and adorable! I have never given a kitten away in my life. But if it goes to him, I would be fine with that. He has other pets, I know he would keep it inside, and I would get to see it often. Conjugal cat visits!

I am distraught AGAIN and it's still about this whole college thing. I'm thinking I may just go on and further my education anyway. Even if one vet does train me to become a vet tech, what if I lose my job for some reason? I'll have to be a receptionist for another few years before another will train me! I absolutely hate when you have your future so planned out and then something just throws it completely off-balance. I HAVE to have structure. I freak out if things change.

This is annoying.

You can't save everything and everyone, and that is a shame.
I sit around and think of the way everything should be.
How I wish that people didn't have to die from preventable diseases, how they didn't have to be faced with preventable homelessness and other tragedies, how I wish that children didn't have to deal with abuse day-to-day, how I wish that everyone could finally be "equal" because even though it is against the law to discriminate, you would have to be blind to not know it still goes on... how the lives of animals would finally be viewed as meaningful.
I think about it so much that it upsets me because I can't really do anything. I'm not famous, I'm not rich, I can't start a charity, I can't donate to the ones that already exist as much as I would like. And people are way too stubborn to see your viewpoint. Feeling helpless is about the worst feeling.

ANYWAY. I absolutely cannot wait until the semester is over. I really have a lot of work that I need to get out of the way, though. I procrastinate way too much.

Dad told me that I should just take out a student loan to buy a car. That way I could buy a really nice one, like a new one, and I could use the money I make from my job to pay for insurance payments. BUT, I wouldn't be able to take out a student loan until the new semester and likely wouldn't get the money until September. I suppose I could pay for it out of pocket until then. I don't know what to do I guess. I just really need a car one way or the other.

Today... I don't really know what to think about today.
I can't decide if today was a relief or if I just feel useless now!
I learned that apparently you don't even have to go to school to be a veterinary technician, that is sort of a disappointment just because I was looking forward to going to Morehead. But Josh and I are getting a place together regardless once I get a car... which will probably be around the same time frame as it would've been.

You can go to school to do that, but if you work at a vet's office as a receptionist or assistant, they normally will hire you just because you're familiar with everything. There are some tests I would have to take to become licensed, and I would take the one that would make me a Registered Vet Tech. I just don't know what to do because I don't know which path would be best. I don't know anyone with this job! I am going to have to get a job at a vet or animal hospital soon, and I would have to keep it for a year anyway if I wanted to get into Morehead's vet tech program. So I suppose my information will all be there. I'm just afraid they won't hire me because they'll see that I'm young and think that I have no idea what my ambitions are. I guess I'm just used to being underestimated.

I'm finishing my Associate's in Science at the very least.

Who knew that it would have been so hard to find a dang sea green bathroom rug? I wanted my bathroom done in my favorite color is all. I had to settle for aquamarine, which is still pretty. At least my bathroom doesn't look like someone ate a bunch of Andy Warhol daisies and vomited all over my toiletries.

I'm really, really slacking in the weight loss department. I keep saying I'm at a plateau, but that's not even it. Because I could lose more if I wanted. My body's not refusing, I'm just getting lazy.Which really sucks because I bought a really pretty green bathing suit today and I would like to not look like a big flab monster when I wear it. I even had to make a new weight loss chart because I wasn't meeting my weekly weight loss goal and it was getting depressing to look at the fact that I was TEN pounds behind.

Ew.

Also, I am just annoyed at everything but this whole "Punk Goes ____" is killing me one Boston song at a time. Those bands could not be considered punk whatsoever. I know it's going to be horrible just because Punk Goes Crunk was absolutely horrible. It's basically the same bands. Only I couldn't care less about "crunk". But I take classic rock very seriously, it is very legitimate! They are embarrassing themselves! They obviously aren't even qualified to sing classic rock, they did not even pick the best songs. You can't do a whole album dedicated to classic rock and not even do Van Halen, stupid asses. I should have taken this challenge on by myself. I probably will.

I am so distraught.

If you have been reading my blog, you know that I am going to Morehead State in about a year, and you know that Josh has promised to go with me. This is obviously a HUGE deal. I accidentally told my grandma today and I kinda... intended to not do that. She's really... spiritually aware. And very against the whole "living in sin" thing.

So a week ago she is telling me that I need to not ever get married, that men will just mess up my life entirely and I'll regret everything (while my grandpa is in the background saying, "I'm RIGHT HERE"). Today she literally tells me for an hour that I have to get married at age twenty so that I don't upset anyone. It just bugs me to no end that she is so dead set against this that she would rather I get married and regret it, not go at all, or be alone in a town I have never even driven through.

She literally said to me, "WHAT IF THE LORD COMES". To which I replied: "Then I suppose I will be living with two guys. And I'm not about to marry God, he seems a little anal".

Now then. It may seem normal for a very... again... "spiritually aware" 72 year old woman to act this way. My cousin lived with her boyfriend when she was, what? 16, 17 years old. No one said anything. They got married when she was 18 or 19 and she is obviously extremely unhappy. My other cousin lives with every boyfriend she gets. Again, no one says anything. But when it comes to me, I just may as well be selling myself to every tourist that comes through the town looking to catch a bluegill. And I will obviously be pregnant within a week.

I haven't "broken the news" to my parents or my grandparents on my other side. But I'm guessing they will react similarly. And once again... my cousin lived with his girlfriend for quite some time, no one said anything. My other cousin found out she was 5 weeks pregnant on the 4 week anniversary of her marriage. I assume you can guess what happened next! Yes, that is right, no one said anything.

I'm sure no one wants to disappoint their grandparents. But today just made me so mad. It did make me realize something though. My grandma asked, "What would your dad say?", and honestly my dad is the LAST person I want to disappoint, but my answer was, "I don't care". And I was being very genuine. I don't care. Because it isn't about them. And I don't think it's fair for everyone to just bank on me to be the person to not disappoint them. Not ONCE in my life have I ever done something or refrained from doing something solely to not disappoint someone or hurt their feelings. I'm not starting today, I'm not starting next year. If I disappoint anyone, they will just have to be disappointed.

I'm doing what is best for me, not what is best for a po-dunk Southern Baptist church. Sorry, grandmas. If I didn't disappoint you, no one would. I'm doing it out of love, it's called being considerate.

I went to Red Lobster today with my parents and Josh and I am not going to be able to eat for three days. Which is fine by me. I really need Zumba tomorrow to work me extra hard. I ate literally 3 pounds of lobster, and I drank my whole weight in Mocha Frappuccino.

Today was a really good day to go to the mall, I got some good deals.



I bought this for Josh, and I bought one for myself, on clearance for $14.

I also bought another one, similar to that one, except green, teal, blue, and yellow. Also for $14.
I bought a grey tank top for $8.

I also got a free v neck tee from Aeropostale, totally free of cost, thanks to Seventeen magazine.

I am so ready for my English class specifically to end.
I don't think that I have ever wanted a break so badly!
I already had quite a bit to look forward to this summer, I am also adding Relay for Life to the list.

Sorry for the new ads below the posts, guys. I'm hoping that SOMEONE will read my blog and hope to follow one of those links in hopes of making me some cash.

Today was very needed.
I went to the movies with Zach and Emily and said hello to some other pretty neat people.
We saw Date Night with Steve Carrell and Tina Fey, and I totally recommend it. We all laughed so hard that I had to look in the mirror when I got home to make sure I hadn't developed abs. No such luck.
I also realized that I barely have friends my own age! They are either quite a bit younger or quite a bit older (though not like fifty... except my dad and grandma are two of my favorite friends!) That's not even pathetic, that is adorable and you will think so as well.

Tomorrow there is a Zumbathon going on at SCC and I would totally go for $10. I think it goes to charity anyway. But I have stupid class tomorrow, through the whole. entire. thing. Luckily, my aunt and cousin liked Zumba enough to want to go every week now!

Sunday is Josh's birthday. He will finally be 19! I've only been 19 for a few months now but I feel so much older than him. Don't know why. I'm taking him to Red Lobster! Actually, I really just wanted to go to Red Lobster, so I invited him along. He doesn't know that. He follows my blogs but I can guarantee he doesn't read them. I'm paying, though. Wouldn't it be horrible if I didn't? We are going to the mall and I hope to pick up some new duds. ALSO. MOCHA FRAPPUCCINOS FOR EVERYONE. Or at least me.

I'm really excited for things to come this year! I get to get a job (HAVE to get a job, really. To get into Morehead's vet tech program, you must have one year's experience in petcare- and owning a metric butt ton of cats does not count, I'm afraid). But it'll be around animals and I am totally fine with that. That will also buy me a car. Killing two birds with one stone! It must be an SUV... some sort of Napoleon complex thing I've got going on I think. It must run and it must not be dark green. Lime green or teal or sea green even would be totally fine.

I can't WAIT until the fair. Zach, Emily, and I have already made plans to go together and that will be super fun. They are some of my favorite folks. I can't wait until I lose all of my weight, I am making good progress I think. Joshua also gets paid vacation starting this summer. Maybe he will decide to go see his Dad. Maybe he will decide to bring me along. There would be a trip to the beach in it for me. And I've never been so that would be super exciting.

I am also really excited (though nervous) to move to Morehead with Josh even though that isn't for another year or so. I'm so glad that he has decided to go with me, I don't know what I would do without him! He sacrifices a lot for me and it makes me feel so special. My family will probably look down on us living together. But I can't help it, I am NOT going alone. My mom has a huge fear of me being alone like that so that is probably why she is the only member of my family who supports it (or at least chooses that option as opposed to me being fair game for rape and robbery). It is a small town, smaller than Somerset even, and that is a relief. I was terrified when I thought I'd have to go to Lexington. Not that it's a huge city but way bigger than I am used to. The people seem to be nice so that will be a welcome change...

And I really want a baby orangutan now.
It's a good thing I'm not allowed to have all of the animals I want.
I would staaaaank.

If there is one thing that I hate more than absolutely anything, it is when one of my pets are sick and I can't do anything about it.
I have a male cat right now who is really sick, and I don't know what is wrong with him.
He's having trouble breathing, there is mucus all over him, and it's really pitiful.
He is really old, so maybe that is the cause. I am hoping it is something that can be fixed.
My dad is getting antibiotics from the vet  for him tomorrow, so I suppose we'll see.
I also have ANOTHER kitten with an ear infection. She is acting just like Heineken did when he had one.
She is not nearly as bad, though, so we are also getting some antibiotics for her before it gets any worse.
I feel so guilty when I have sick pets though, because I feel like I should be able to come to their rescue and I can't. :(

I'm finally going to Zumba today.
And I'm really excited, other than my stomach is hurting and it should stop or that will make for a bad experience.
I have watched numerous amounts of this on Youtube and I think I am probably going to be horrible at it.
I'm always really bad at mirroring what other people do.

Other than that, I think that my cat Lily may be pregnant.
She's been acting really weird lately. She grooms herself non-stop and her personality has changed.
She wants virtually nothing to do with anyone, which is normally how she is except with me.
But she is acting that way with me now and it kind of makes me upset.
I'm so jealous of her kittens, you guys! :(
She'll be so preoccupied with nursing her stupid babies that she won't have time for cuddles.

Anyway, I had a pretty good Easter. It turned out better than I thought it would because it didn't storm.
I really miss going on egg-hunts. Especially because I always got the Goose Egg at my church.
Old people think that a dollar is sooo much to little kids, but I always thought I was getting really ripped off.
Like I should come home from church with a t-shirt that said, "Jesus rose from the grave and all I got was this lousy dollar".

There is an upside to your parents still thinking that you are five years old though.
You always get candy on Easter and Halloween. :)

I'm also really mad at my cousin, for telling me that he apparently found my missing cat when it was a dang ole possum. I cried, you guys. Not joking. It really wasn't even a clever joke. He really isn't funny at all. He must be Jewish. My cats are one thing that you just do not joke about. They are very legitimate and I take them very seriously. Besides, ole boy, the possum really resembles your ex-girlfriend way more than it resembles my cats. Come to think of it, I believe I saw it making out with your best friend so it actually is a possibility that it was, in fact, your ex-girlfriend.

Dear fat redneck at Wal-Mart:

No. I do not have time to argue with you. I am willing to bet that there is something somewhere that needs to be either milked or eaten. I have things to do. Walk on.

SO with that being said.
Did you guys know that I, in fact, am just a big ole freak?
I just don't have enough Budweiser muscle shirts and Reeboks in my closet these days.

Uh... no, sir. This is why you and all of your 350 pounds are walking through the crafts section of Wal-Mart alone. You're lucky I was looking at paintbrushes and not lumber.

Why does this shit aaaalways have to happen?
Tomorrow was going to be a fabulous day.
And now it probably isn't.