I just spent four hours re-doing my bathroom and cleaning every single thing in it, and throwing tons of stuff away. It is so relaxing just to know that it is CLEAN. It no longer looks like Andy Warhol ate a huge bunch of daisies and orange Skittles and then vomited everywhere. It is "aquamarine". I am very pleased.

Then I walk into my bedroom and see what a hot mess it is and I get very stressed out.
I didn't get to paint today like I had planned and the things I took off my walls are all lying in the floor so it is very cluttered and hard to walk in.

The paint I got is called "Lime Smoothie" but it isn't lime green. It's the prettiest seafoam green color that I could find, and it looks very similar to this.



It feels good to know that I'm going to go through and throw away all of the things that I don't want/need, that way I don't have to worry about what to do with it.

Until then, I don't even want to go in there! And I can't go into my living room because there are sheets and tarps all over everything, my mom is painting the ceiling. I suppose I'll just hang out in here for a while.

I have no huge responsibilities but I have so much to do.
Nothing that I actually have to do, just things that, in my mind, are really crucial.

Like learning how to do different stitches in crocheting and knitting, buying containers to put random things in so that my room can be a little bit organized, painting something for Josh's new house, crocheting four afghans for Christmas gifts, watching this dude's forty Youtube videos so that I can teach myself piano. He breaks it down so it should be pretty simple. My keyboard is definitely getting put back in my room after Spring (Summer?) cleaning. Technically, it's my uncle's keyboard. But, he let me borrow it and then made us disown him because he was being a butt. This is the one time I gained something out of someone being an asshole! SUCCESS!

I am getting really carried away with this "happy thoughts" fit I am having. I refuse to let myself get down. I started to get upset at humanity in general earlier, but you know what I did? I googled chinchillas. And all seemed right with the world.

Thanks to Swagbucks, I have $20.50 on my Amazon account. Not my money. Well, it is now. But I have bought so many things with this. I'm saving up for Just Dance right now. Anything that gives me more options for exercise is good. Because I am starting to slip. Badly. I've gained four pounds and have been eating for the heck of it. That is bad. It all started with pizza. This is why I have to stay away from pizza, it is definitely my Achille's heel. This time, though, I'm going to catch it before it gets too carried away. That's what I should have done before, instead of letting myself gain fifty pounds before I took care of it. Eh well, I'm trying.

I'm thinking about taking Matt's advice and just start making crap up so y'all will be a little interested.

I almost let my paranoid mother get my day off to a bad start. But it won't work!
I was supposed to have plans today, but I canceled them because I thought I'd end up having to, anyway.

Josh, I think, is packing today to move into his new place. He's sharing it with a friend, but it isn't an apartment, it is an actual house that they pay rent on. He'll be close to Presidium so it will save a lot of gas. It means he's a lot farther away from me, but at least it isn't Oldham County.

I really, really hate when guys try to hit on me on Myspace. I would have thought that whole section about my boyfriend would have kept them away a little bit. Needless to say, when they ask what kind of music I'm into while of course adding "wut kind of guys r u into hon?!" onto the end... and I answer the music part and say "I'm into my boyfriend", they stop caring about what kind of music I am into. And also, you are twenty seven, you creep-ass.

OH.

Highlight of my year so far = Trevor Moore said four, count 'em... four, words to me on Facebook.
Am I pathetic? Probably. But am I happy? Yes.

My blog is way more boring than I intended it to be.

So, I was watching American Idol like I do every year. There's one contestant who always seemed sort of... familiar to me. Until my parents mentioned it I had no idea why. His face looks exactly like my boyfriend's face.

I can't even get over it. I just keep looking at his face and being really weirded out.

Anyway, as we have established by now, I really like making lists. So I made this list of one hundred things I want to do before I die.

1. Celebrate my one hundredth birthday.

2. Participate in something that greatly benefits animal welfare (besides donating).

3. Visit every state in the U.S. at least once, Canada, Mexico, as well as at least one country on every other continent (except Antarctica... but maybe...).

4. Swim with dolphins.

5. Take a safari in Africa.

6. Go to Australia and hold a koala bear.

7. Get every pet I've ever wanted.

8. Ride a roller coaster.

9. Own my dream home.

10. Become a mother.

11. Get every tattoo I want.

12. Get every piercing I want.

13. Become a veterinary technician.

14. Lose fifty pounds.

15. Read every book in a library.

16. Find a doctor that can help my grandpa see again.

17. Own a weeping willow tree.

18. Teach myself piano.

19. Sing in front of an audience.

20. Be on as many game shows as possible.

21. Get a video on America's Funniest Home Videos.

22. Follow a band on their entire tour (preferably Van Halen).

23. Attend a film festival.

24. Move. Out. Of. Jabez.

25. Meet all members of the Whitest Kids U Know.

26. Get married outdoors.

27. Gain a friend for life.

28. Paint something that someone will buy.

29. Teach someone something that they can use for the rest of their life.

30. Try out for American Idol. It's all in fun, I won't be upset if I don't make it. :)

31. Learn to cook.

32. This will not be listed but I will let you know when it is accomplished...hah.

33. Be published a third time.

34. Get through college without debt.

35. Play a role in a Judd Appatow film, even if it is tiny.

36. Track down my entire family history from all sides.

37. Live to see the cure for cancer.

38. Go on a roadtrip with no particular destination.

39. Go to as many amusement parks as possible.

40. Sleep outside on a trampoline.

41. Go to the beach.

42. Draw out a tattoo that someone will get. What sucks is that I've almost accomplished this. Twice.

43. Paint a mural.

44. Go to stand-up shows of all of my favorite comedians.

45. Help someone else fulfill a goal (please lemme know!)

46. Pick up at least twenty new hobbies.

47. Do stand-up comedy at least once!

48. Upload a video on Youtube.

49. Get one million hits on that video.

50. Spend all day playing Dominoes with my grandma.

51. Take my parents on a trip to Hawaii.

52. Beat every Guitar Hero game on expert with all instruments.

53. Do as many charity walks as possible.

54. Have tofurkey for Thanksgiving.

55. Meet Ruby Gettinger and tell her how much she inspires me.

56. Write a journal entry every day for the rest of my life.

57. I want my child(ren) to be able to meet all of my grandparents.

58. Go out in public with no makeup.

59. Conquer my fear of spiders.

60. Hide in my closet, record a video, and send it to Bin Laden. See how he likes that mess.

60. (I'm redoing 60, since I wouldn't know where to send the video. We are not quite as good at Hide and Seek as he is). I want to inspire someone.

61. Spend a day with terminally ill patients in a hospital.

62. Volunteer at a nursing home and listen to all of their stories, even if they smell like moth balls and have no idea what they're talking about. I love old people!

63. Break a record.

64. Go a month without saying a mean thing about anyone. I've already tried this. It didn't work. But we'll see.

65. I also can't say what #65 is, but I will let you know when mission #65 is complete!

66. Buy Christmas gifts for a child who otherwise wouldn't receive any.

67. Adopt a pet who has been abused or neglected and show it that it is not worthless.

68. Be in the audience of a TV show.

69. 69. Just kidding. Meet someone who tends to think everyone from Kentucky is stupid and play Jeopardy with them.

70. Meet the doctor who told my mom that I would be full of birth defects and that she should abort me. Possibly slap him, depending on whether or not I meet him during the month that I am trying to be nice to everyone.

71. Go to every restaurant Guy Fieri has been to on Diiners, Drive-ins and Dives.

72. Start a garden and eat nothing but things I grow for at least a month.

73. Go a year without fast food.

74. Reach my 50th wedding anniversary.

75. Help do something about the pollution in the ocean.

76. Cut out diet soda for a month (we'll try for longer, but I am really diet soda dependent).

77. Get a secret on PostSecret.

78. Do something that lands me on a talk show. Not on Jerry Springer, Maury, and preferably not Steve Wilkos.

79. Make everyone I meet from here on out smile.

80. Meet Betty White and get her to tell me a St. Olaf story as Rose Nyland.

81. Go to all of my high school reunions.

82. Help plan a wedding that isn't my own.

83. Ride a horse.

84. Sleep in one of those canopy beds on the beach.

85. Start an Etsy and sell at least three things.

86. Play Chubby Bunny with a group of people.

87. Wear every eye shadow that I own at least once in public (even the neon colors).

88. See a ghost.

89. Drive a Hummer.

90. Do something I am good at (maybe crocheting), sell them, and donate the proceeds to charity.

91. Get a caricature of myself drawn.

92. Go a day without watching television. It probably doesn't seem like a huge deal to anyone else, but I cannot stand to be in a room with a television that is not turned on.

93. Change someone's life for the better.

94. Get on the Dean's List. I missed it this semester by like .4 GPA points. Craaaaaap.

95. Ride a camel.

96. Play with a baby orangutan.

97. Participate in Lent, even though I am not Catholic. Maybe I'll give up diet soda. Kill two birds with one stone.

98. Be completely happy with myself.

99. Have an amazing tree house!

100. Complete this list.

The past few days have not been very good. But I am trying to make the best of it.

My Wii scale was all wrong until I fixed it so I really have not lost as much weight as I thought I had. But, incidentally, it motivated me more than anything because now I want to see that number for real. I've lost another pound and that's twenty four total. Considering how much I need to lose, it seems like not much but at least that's twenty four that I don't have to worry about losing anymore.

Something in particular ruined my day. I'm pretty positive I'm not allowed to talk about it, but I'm really hoping that things work out. If they don't, I may lose Josh to Oldham County and I am seriously hoping that won't be the case. I honestly have no idea what I would do.

I still have yet to go job-hunting and I am starting to get really stressed out because of this car thing. I just may have to wait until fall. Since I may not have to go to Morehead after all, it stresses me out just a little less. Just, living with my parents for as long as I may is less than ideal.

First things first. I've been a pretty irritable person my entire life, but lately I've just been annoying myself. I'm annoyed with basically my entire family, I'm jealous of people that I have no desire to be. That sucks. I was doing well up until today. I think it's the weather. If it were sunny outside, I bet I would feel a lot better. I'm not the only person without a life, so I need to just get over it.

Also, Raeann, thank you for that list of fifty thing, we'll definitely try that. Josh rarely has time off of work and he may not feel the need to do this but he is normally pretty sappy so it may be something he will like.

Here are diet tips. I'll try to arrange them to make them a bit organized. They're mostly from Woman's World, and they are things that anyone can do, not some crazy cabbage soup plan.

I ate McDonald's today so I will take my vinegar and fish oil tomorrow and see if it does work or if I just think it does. =|

Food
*Eat mustard- Turmeric (the spice that gives mustard its golden hue) reduces weight gain and slows the growth of fat tissues.

*Take vinegar (most commonly, apple cider vinegar)- When we consume extra vinegar, we produce less insulin. The acid in vinegar may alter metabolism in muscle cells and actually promote fat burning- therefore resisting weight gain. Vinegar is also a natural appetite suppressant (just 2 tablespoons of vinegar a day can make you feel 200% more satisfied). **I mix a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar with apple juice, it still tastes pretty nasty but it's a lot worse if you just down it by itself. Plus, if you take a drink of apple juice right afterward (that doesn't have vinegar in it) the taste goes away immediately**

*Prevent insulin spikes with oatmeal- Just five servings a week will make you lose twice as much belly fat as you normally would.

*Eat walnuts- 1 ounce a day stops the hormone neuropeptide Y from forming. This boosts belly fat loss 62% in three months. Actually, three ounces of any type of nut daily will help you lose one inch around your middle a month, and it triples the odds of keeping it off permanently.

*Detox with lemon juice- Just putting a lemon slice in your tea or water can help you effortlessly shed pounds, feel energized and get rid of toxins, say researchers. Because of its unique mix of phytonutrients, lemon juice boosts metabolism and enhances the liver's ability to break down trapped fats and pollutants by an amazing 30%. 

*Seafood- Salmon, shrimp (thank God), and other fish makes you stay full two hours longer than you would otherwise. Fitting in 12 oz. of seafood weekly can help you shed nine pounds in one month. Fish's Omega-3 fats increase production of leptin, a hormone that shuts down between-meal hunger pangs. **I just take fish oil supplements... they are pretty cheap. It says "dietary supplement" on the bottle but it's nothing dangerous, a lot of doctors will have their patients take them anyway. My grandparents and parents take them for cholesterol.**   

*Coconut- Coconut oil is nature's best source of medium-chain fatty acids (MCFAs), fats that go directly to the liver, where they increase calorie-burning by up to 30%. MCFAs also curb appetite, so you'll eat less. **Study proven dose: 6 oz. coconut meat; 1.5 cups shredded coconut; 2 tablespoons of coconut oil. Choose one daily. Also, coconut oil may improve thyroid function, which increases metabolism**

*Avocado- Avocado is loaded with omega-9 fats. They work inside the body cells to speed the conversion of food and fat into energy, boosting your metabolic rate as much as 5%. 

*Organic eggs- They contain up to 19 times more healthy omega-3 fatty acids than regular eggs.

**Abby, from the Biggest Loser, used a 1,200 calorie approach, but once a week, she allowed herself 2,400 calories. "It's a shock to your system that boosts your metabolism". 

Exercise

Apparently, yoga is the best thing that you can do. That is boring to me but I am trying to do more of it. 
Also, this is not really "exercising" but if you fidget it is supposed to help you lose weight. "Mayo Clinic researchers found that toe-tapping, stretching, and other antsy movements burn up 350 calories per day!"

Comfort-Food Craving?

*Ask yourself, "Am I actually hungry?"
*Get a journal and write about your feelings if you are not physically hungry: you're probably emotional eating.
*Before you eat, do something mood-boosting like taking a bath, or something else you enjoy. You'll probably forget to eat.
*Make sure to think of how you'll probably feel disappointed in yourself after you eat when you aren't hungry.
**I know that's pretty lame, but it works for me...haha**

  Random

*Research shows that chewing gum helps fight cravings, relieve stress and lower cortisol levels.

*Studies also show that the scent of pink grapefruit can curb cravings in 60 seconds.

 

Lily had her kittens today. I am really excited about seeing them, because I know there are a ton.

For the past couple of mornings, I have been eating oatmeal, taking a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, and a Fish Oil supplement...and, of course, exercising. It seems to be working, as I've lost almost two pounds.

I've been going through some old magazines my grandma gave me and I've collected a bunch of random little weight loss tips. If anyone is interested, I'll post them.

I also made a list to try and help with my self-esteem and it actually did. Sitting down and making a list forced me to think positively, so it gave me a boost.

I entitle it:

Good Things About Me

My looks

*I have good hair

* I can do makeup well

*When I wear makeup, I have a pretty face

*I'm "well-endowed"
*I have cute feet

*I have cute ears

*My nose isn't weird

*My eyebrows don't have to be plucked/tweezed/waxed/etc.
*I have naturally blonde hair so if I forget to shave my legs, it's not a big deal.

*I'm hygienic (today doesn't count).

*I have dimples.

*Braces made my teeth nice.

*I like my sense of style.

*I have a nice... derriere. 

*My face makes my Native American heritage evident.

My personality

*People tend to want to be my friend.

*I am reliable and I know that is rare.

*I am easy to get along with.
*I crack myself up. Either I am easily amused or I am decently funny.

*I am smart, but not weird about it (like those really weird kids on Jeopardy who you feel bad for because you know they can't have friends).

*I am quick-witted.
*I am unique- I have never met another person like me, and I don't try to be like anyone else (granted, everyone says that).

*I stand up for what I believe in.

*I have never done anything I didn't want to.

*I know what I want and (usually) know how to make it happen.

*I am physically active (is that a personality trait?)
*If I care about you, I will do just about anything I can for you.

*I am trustworthy. Unless you're being dumb.

*The dumbest things happen to me so I always have really good stories.

*My overall personality must be pretty good, because boys tend to like me and I know it is not because of my slim figure.

*I can admit when I'm wrong but only when I am wrong, not when you think I am wrong.

*I have "good quirks".
*I am a compassionate person and I wish I could save the world.

*I have goals.
*I am polite.

*I don't care enough about what people think to let it stop me from having fun.

*I'm competitive (but in a good way).

My talents

*I am pretty good at drawing.

*I am good at painting.

*I have a knack for decorating/arranging (until I actually have to do it).

*I sing well.

*I can pick things up quickly.

*I am good at crocheting, and other little hobbies.
*I'm good with words. I can write a five-pager in an hour, tops.

*I don't know if it's a "talent", but animals tend to be attracted to me.

*I'm good at tetherball and badminton!
*Babies like me for some reason. A lot. I sort of wish they didn't, because they look at me and smile at me in Wal-Mart and Kroger and it's just a little odd after a while.

*I'm good at just about every game I play.

My relationships

*My boyfriend is amazing and I am finally the only one that he wants (so apparently I am doing something correctly).
*All of my grandparents are alive and I have great relationships with all of them.

*My dad is one of my best friends. And he's not a drunken deadbeat! That is rare around these parts! Good on ya, Dad!

*I may not have a lot of friends now but with all of the amazing memories I have, I know it isn't because of me.

I hope this doesn't come off as conceited. I wrote it for myself first. I just hope it inspires someone to do something like this, because it really does help to look at it if you are having a day that's not so good. Plus, I really like reading things like this that people make about themselves. So you should do one also!

Today was an alright day. Obviously one should not expect much fun to be had when one has to take their grandmother to the podiatrist to get their toenails clipped. I love my grandma and everything but she is only good in small doses.

Anyway. I came home, and my cat Gizmo was following me around absolutely everywhere, meowing. No big deal, I figured she was just really hungry since it was 4 and I feed my critters at 3. I fed her and she ate a lot more than usual. No big deal again, I knew she was pregnant. But she continued to follow me around and meow. Then out of nowhere, she ran about ten feet, stopped, turned around to look at me, and continued meowing. This is when I noticed she wasn't fat anymore, so I knew she had had her kittens, like...today. I decided to follow her and she led me right to them. There are two and they are orange, so obviously Joben is the father. Good ole Joben, doing the proverbial hit it and quit it. Obviously, since I haven't seen him since he came to my house to spread his seed. He smelled woman and now he is gone. I'm glad Gizzy only had two because she is very small for her age, I don't think she could have handled more. But I am going to try and get her fixed, as well as Lily when she has hers. Which, I thought she would, way before Gizzy. She is HUGE. Her stomach is so big that she has to lay on her back, which is ironic because this is what got her into the position in the first place. Flooz.

ALSO I had a revelation which has brightened my life quite a bit.
I realized that people suck and have changed for the worse (obviously not everyone, but a lot).
At first, I thought it would be a horrible thing and I would never get over it.
But I am extremely glad that they have, because if not, I might miss them a little bit.

Also also, there is something that I REALLY want to say. Like, I really really need to say it.
It could potentially be hurtful though, and I'm not a jerk for the hell of it.
It would feel really nice to say, though. I never hold back what I am thinking, this is a rarity.
And I don't even think that being the goddamn ray of sunshine that I am will keep me from it for long.

Some things just do not require an apology.
Raeann, I think I need to ask you. Just to make sure.
You can be my moral police.

Also, this is typical of me. I always tend to focus on the negative.
Lately, I have felt like I am fading almost. I generally have this big personality and I guess I'm used to being given attention. It's not that way anymore so I either feel like I am losing my identity or that no one cares.
I normally don't like to pity myself, it's just something I'm not used to.

Tomorrow, I am going to sit and write down every single positive thing that I can think of about myself and my life. It's something that I just don't think about so I feel like I have nothing positive to focus on when I'm feelin' blue. Theoretically, though, my life is just way too good to sit-n-bitch all the time.

I feel like I should add that I am not sad about anything right now. At least nothing particular. It's just something I've been thinking about for a long time and never really had the idea to get it out of the way.